Take me out to the ballgame. Make out with all the players…is that how the song goes? If I’m not playing your song, sister, then you just gotta tune into the whole spring training thing.

It’s no joke. Let me ask you a couple of questions: do you like sunshine? Do you like men? Then Scottsdale for Major League Baseball spring training is your ticket to total debauched fun. Take it from me!

So many teams from the Majors go there. I was all about the Giants (thanks, Jack!), but there were also the A’s (as in A+ for gorgeous!), Anaheim, Chicago, Diamondbacks, Rockies, Royals, Brewers, Padres, Mariners, Rangers…This is the Cactus League, baby, so beware of getting pricked. What? Cacti have those little pricks on them. Oh you know what I mean.

Anyways, did I mention the guy-to-girl ratio? It’s got to be about ten hot guys to one darling Diva. Seriously!

I bet you’re wondering, hey, Stephanie, what’s a typical day like during spring training? Well let me break it down for you.

The games start at 1 pm, so you must plan accordingly. Depending on what you’ve done the night before, you try to get up by about 11. If you’re rooming with a bunch of your girlfriends, this allows everyone enough time to primp. If you’re waking up next to a professional athlete, well, this gives you both enough time to suit up before game time.

By the time you jump into your convertible, it’s a gorgeous 83 degrees out, and wildflowers are beginning to bloom across the desert. You duck into the stadium and are shocked at how tiny Scottsdale Stadium is! You are practically on top of the players! For some of you wild Divas, this is like déjà vu from the night before. Get it?

The game goes by like waves on a beach, the innings ebbing and flowing, the sun shining… Before you know it, the game’s over, you’re tan, and it’s time to hit the post game party bars. So you walk out of the stadium and head to Sugar Daddy’s or Dos Amigos. The joints are slammed packed with wall-to-wall men. You pinch yourself. Talk about a fantasy team—boy oh boy!

Now for some of us more, well, natural ladies, there’s no need to be intimidated by all the silicon swells that pop up like so many saguaro across the female landscape. I asked an attractive bunch of guys I met at the JAMES Hotel about this. Lance (hey, honey), Chris, Lucien and Jeff told me that they were open to all kinds of breasts. See how sweet men are?

The coolest scene that we found by far was the JAMES Hotel (www.jameshotels.com/scottsdale). Wowie. The bar scene was crazy: the hottest people in town, loads of ball players, awesome drinks, cool scene, hip patio. In fact, if you can afford it, then this is definitely the place to stay for spring training. It’s walking distance from the Stadium.

So next time March rolls around and you’re thinking to yourself, I just need to get away somewhere, think Scottsdale. You can detox in all the spas by day, and retox every night. You can make tons of new friends, too—everyone is really friendly. I would also keep spring training in mind for bachelorette parties and girl getaways.

The boys may be back in town, but Scottsdale is definitely a town for the ladies!

The Baron of Scottsdale’s Guide: (Baron’s my local friend, and if he says it’s hip, then it is.) Oh, and an * means that this place is also Stephanie approved.

Post Game:

*Dos Gringos—think Senor Frog’s in Mexico- it’s like perpetual MTV spring break

Salty Senora

*Sugar Daddy’s—large fun patio with kooky, wild decor

Blue Moose

AZ ‘88

Restaurants:

***FiAMMA Trattoria at the JAMES Hotel—the restaurant, like the rest of the hotel, rocks!

**RA Sushi—super hip and delicious with top quality sushi and a fun bar

*The Bungalow—cool restaurant and patio hangout

Drinkwater’s City Hall

Furio

*Don & Charlie’s—an old world bastion of steak and baseball memorabilia

Hotels:

***The JAMES—the coolest of the cool (www.jameshotels.com/scottsdale)

The Biltmore—for you high rollers, the queen of the spas, the best of the best (www.arizonabiltmore.com)

There are also a million spa hotels all along North Scottsdale Road, as well as many motels in walking distance from Scottsdale Stadium.

Out on the Town:

***JAMES Hotel—the bar scene rocks!

Postrio Wine Bar

Café Deluxe

Zen 32

Barcelona—supposed to be fab—a little bit of a trek from Scottsdale Stadium area

Rusty Spur

Suede

Crown Rum

*Six—cool little Scottsdale dance club

Merc Bar

And a super special shout out goes to Gwyneth and Lisa without whom this story would not have been possible.

Scottsdale AZ things to do and vacation information