I did not sleep well and I am starting to feel really crabby. I am trying to stay positive, but now my throat is really feeling bad and I am exhausted from my lack of sleep. Today is the “Burning Ceremony” where everyone writes a list of all the things in their lives that no longer serve them and we literally BURN these sheets of paper on the front lawn in a sacred and silent ceremony.
I am a wreck for this event. I have written 2 full pages and put them in an envelope. They include things like, “Getting angry,” “Pushing myself too hard,” “Letting go of resentments,” and a bunch of other stuff that I won’t bore you with.
Because many of the guests here have cancer, and the belief is that cancer is a way that our body reacts to suppressed emotions, this is a pretty emotional ceremony. There are a lot of tears and by the end of the 30-minute event everyone looks a bit lighter and happier.
It was at this ceremony that I started to feel better. They day sped by and I enjoyed chewing my juice and hanging out with my new friends. One of the gifts I gave myself was a massage every day, so after lunch I got a Shiatsu Zen massage. My therapist was a young man named Courage, and when I closed my eyes and let him bend and stretch my body, I felt like I was dancing with an angel.
The night class was about self-validation, and once again there was a lot of tears. It is so encouraging to see others break out of their fear and live in the moment with truth and authenticity. I really miss that in my life because it seems that most people walk around with this “I’m okay mask” on and it can get pretty frustrating to truly understand how others are doing. Here, there is no need to figure it out, everyone just lets you know. Oh, what a refreshing change!
The past four days have been such and amazing experience and I can’t believe that it is already Wednesday night. One of the other things we do every day is write a gratitude journal. We list 3 things that we are grateful for, and today I am grateful for so much that I feel I’m going to explode with love.