Tango Diva : Travel Stories for Women, by Women

July 22nd, 2007
Post Tripum Depression

There may be no place like home, but sometimes that’s the whole point! Coming off the intensity of a world tour, home may seem…foreign. One minute you’re fighting to get on a bus in Montego Bay, the next minute you’re in your quiet, slightly stuffy study looking at a stack of bills on your desk. Post Tripum Depression!

I’ve got it bad, Divas. I was on a whirlwind adventure! It was me against Central Europe! I had no plan, no itinerary. I was a sponge! Over here were Serbians; over there Croats. Dracula’s tomb for breakfast and his castle for lunch.

Yesterday I went to the Tango Diva office and waited for the elevator. Having immersed myself in European floor numbering for three weeks, it never occurred to me that the elevator might be in the lobby. Displaying itself as on floor 1, I assumed it was a floor above me. I stood there and stood there.

It’s just that home feels so…homely! There’s the coffee shop and there’s the bakery. My best friends are still embroiled in love triangles, cat fights and conundrums. The mailman doesn’t even ring once—he’s got a key to the gate. (Of course there was that earthquake the other morning. My bed shook so much I almost fell out. But that’s not the kind of adventure I want…)

You know what I mean? I am a different person. I have changed. And where is that manifested? I went and went and went, yet here I am. Home is an opiate threatening to lull me into my old self. But I am someone totally new now. Open, aware, a PART of things! Stephanie Block, World Citizen. Stephanie Block, Nomadic Traveler. Stephanie Block, Adventurer and Explorer.

I resist and defy you, Stephanie Block, TiVo User. Nor Stephanie Block, Tea Sipper. I am aghast at Me, the Grocery Shopper, and I don’t even recognize Me the Pining Lover. Who are these people and what are they doing in my house?

Most of all, what am I doing in my house when there’s a whole big world out there??? Usually, home is a perfectly wonderful place to come back to. San Francisco is a beautiful and reassuring place to land. But this time, it’s different. This time, I broke through the sound barrier, the soul barrier, and somehow I’m on the other side. How did Alice feel leaving heart-queens and white rabbits? They talk about through the looking glass but hardly ever discuss back through…

Divas, there is no rest for me. The only cure is to pack my bags and leave home to the homely!

What are your re-entry strategies? 

2 thoughts on “Post Tripum Depression

  1. Re-entry strategies:
    I know re-entry depression well. You have come back to a place so familar but so foreign at the same time. And the feeling that you have grown in so many ways, but most around you have stayed the same. The first week back for me is extremely difficult; to help me over this “hump” I look to nature and new places in my city that I have not explored. Whether it is a day on the beach exploring tide pools for shaking off the reentry thoughts, or strolling down an unfamiliar neighboorhood street and stopping at a new restaurant/cafe..something to bring about the adventure, exploration, freeness dancing around in you.

    Gradually, for me, my home starts feeling like a home again and my travel guard starts coming down a bit and I am ready to start planning for the next adventure. The reentry phase is all about time and finding patience in surroundings that just feels the same and a bit boring. It truly is a major adjustment.
    When you need a little “remember this, remember me” boost, turn to your travel pictures..put them on your desk, on your refrigerator, screen saver ..wherever to give you the mental meditation and deep breathe you need!

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