YOUR OSCAR BALLOT

OLD BOY:
terrifying, will stay in your head all night

MONSTERS UNIVERSITY:
the antidote to Old Boy

DALLAS BUYERS CLUB:
superb, especially if you were there

THE BOOK THIEF:
required viewing, be glad you weren’t there

THE COUNSELOR:
will scare you straight

THE LONE RANGER:
good film cursed with bad marketing

THE RUSH:
it was

LEE DANIELS THE BUTLER:
couldn’t get past thinking that I was looking at Oprah

12 YEARS A SLAVE:
superb adaptation of true story, no Oprah

BLUE JASMINE:
oh woody, really?

JOBS:
cautionary tale of success

THE BLING RING:
cautionary tale teen-age materialism

AUGUST OSAGE COUNTY:
modern “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolfe”… you’ve been warned

PHILOMENA:
full box of tissues

THE WOLF OF WALL STREET:
three hours of entertaining 70’s style debauchery

GRAVITY:
lots of high budget flash floating through space

HER:
quirky, most thought-provoking film of the year that will never win

CAPTAIN PHILLIPS:
beautifully crafted true story

AMERICAN HUSTLE:
three hours of non-stop frivolous fun

INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS:
completely unlikable annoying lead character, great soundtrack

NEBRASKA:
touching father and son road trip

THE SQUARE:
most Americans are completely clueless about what’s going on in Egypt

SAVING MR BANKS:
sweet Disney story about Disney

ALL IS LOST:
and you’ll never get those painful three hours of your life back

THE GREAT GATSBY:
meh